Three Big Things We Misunderstand About Relationships (Part 2)
Three Big Things We Misunderstand About Relationships (Part 2)
Here are the three big things many people misunderstand about relationships:
What relationships are and how they get formed (topic of a previous post);
What causes our relationships to fail;
What causes our relationship to succeed.
In this post, I will discuss what causes our relationships to fail.
What Causes Our Relationships To Fail?
We are all aware that human relationships frequently fail. They may start off well, with lots of hope and enthusiasm. But the realities of life often wear them down, and we often separate and go our own ways.
Each time this happens to us, we look for answers as to why. Unfortunately, we rarely hit upon the correct diagnosis.
MOST HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS FAIL BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DESIGNED TO DO.
This is one of the big things we don’t understand about human relationships. We think that if we just pick the right person, if we are just filled with feelings of love, or if we just keep having the right kind of feelings, our relationships will naturally succeed.
Nothing could be further than the truth.
When you exist as a single individual for your first 16-22 years of your life, your brain and body get “conditioned” to single living. You can focus primarily on your own needs, desires, wants, likes, dislikes, etc. And you can organize your life accordingly.
Now, take two separate individuals who have done this exact same thing and put them together in a relationship. Their brains and bodies are still programmed to function as individuals, but they are not individuals anymore. They are a couple, or they are part of a relationship with other people.
In other words, your brain and body are programmed to have you fail in your relationships with others.
Suppose you don’t understand this basic truth about your brain and body and how they have been programmed to function automatically in ways that are not conducive to having successful partnerships. In that case, you will never understand why your relationships turn out badly.
Both you and your partner are programmed to destroy them.
Yes, we like to believe in the “happily ever after” Disney fantasy…but that’s not real life. You can live happily (or relatively happily) ever after, but it takes work and a lot of awareness.
Especially, you need to be hyperaware of how you (and other people) are likely to destroy any unions that matter to you.
So we walk around understanding relationships BACKWARDS…and that’s why so many of our marriages and other relationships fail.
Get your understandings straightened out (i.e., more consistent with reality), and your odds of relationship success will go way up.
Until next time…
To your health, happiness, and success,
Dr. Mort Orman, M.D.
Internal Medicine Physician
Leading Anger Elimination & Stress Elimination Expert
Creator, Angry No More (10-week Anger Elimination Program)
Creator, The Anger Internal Causes Framework
Creator, The Ultimate Anger Elimination System
Author or co-author of 33 Books on Eliminating Anger and Stress (23 as solo author; 10 as co-author or contributing author)
Author, Dr. Orman's Life Changing Anger Cure (most recent book)
My Vision for You: Winning At Life
"I believe we all have the internal power and resources to
live, love, and work anger-free and mostly stress-free."
