Dr. Mort Orman here and please don’t let the title of this article–or the picture above–throw you. It’s not about pregnancy!
Whether you are a man or a woman, the question “Are You Expecting?” applies to you. And whether you know it or not, the answer is…
“Yes, you are.”
As human beings, we are always “expecting.” In other words, we are always having expectations.
Lots of expectations, actually.
Some, we are consciously aware of, and some we are not.
But expectations are always there, in the background of our daily experiences.
Expectations And Stress
Expectations are a common source of many different types of stress in our lives.
They can create all sorts of mischief, including emotional distress, relationship conflicts, communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, distrust, and a wide range of other common problems.
Expectations produce stress in two main ways:
- They are frequently untrue or unrealistic.
- Most of the time, we are completely unaware of them.
Expectations are not usually complicated. They often consist of simple ideas such as “life should be fair,” “people should be honest,” etc.
Therefore, it’s not that they are complex or mysterious, but rather that they are mostly hidden from our view that gives them so much power over us.
When we consciously or unconsciously harbor expectations that are much too high, we set ourselves up for failure. As a result, we can end up feeling frustrated, angry, and personally demoralized.
On the other hand, when our expectations about ourselves, about life, or about others are too low, we can experience decreased self-expression, underachievement, depression, resignation and diminished self-esteem.
Awareness Is The Key
When you become consciously aware of your hidden expectations, however, this can free you from being dominated by them.
You can look at a specific expectation such as “Life should always be fair” and ask yourself “is this really true?”
When you pause to think about this question for a moment, you will often see things in a much more realistic light.
Of course life isn’t fair. Tornados aren’t fair. Street muggings aren’t fair. Terrorist attacks are not fair. Death isn’t fair. Betrayals aren’t fair.
The point is, once you become aware of an untrue or unrealistic expectation, YOU now are in position to regain power over it.
Simple But Not Easy
It’s really just that simple.
But “simple” doesn’t always mean “easy.”
It’s one thing to become aware of your unconscious expectations. It’s quite another to know which ones are realistic and which ones aren’t.
In my next article in this 3-part series, we’ll take a closer look at some common types of stress that are often caused by our own internal expectations.
To your health, happiness and success, Dr. Mort Orman, M.D., International Speaker, Author And Founder Of The Stress Mastery Academy | http://DocOrman.com
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